My Worth As a Mother: In Two Braids

Children

I have doubted my quality as a mother at least daily for the past 16 years, 4 months, and 29 days. The baby years were hard with the diapers and breast feeding and pumping and up all hours of the night. Then came the toddler years. I broke into cold sweats perseverating over the grape I didn't cut into fourths or the outlet I left uncovered because frankly, I was too tired to get up and find another one of those nail-breaking plastic things. These doubts churn to the surface every September, with the return of yellow school buses, brown bag lunches and math quizzes. It’s back to school in … [Read more...]

Enjoying the Ride: That Time I Published a Book

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Wow. What. a. spring! It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve sat down to write. [interlaces fingers, cracks knuckles, and rubs hands together as if to start a fire] I mean, to scratch the itch, sure, I write my daily revelations in mini-form on Facebook. Just the other day I went there… To grieve a loss. Not of a patient, but of her lingering memory. We lost her too young several years ago, and today I found out her husband got remarried. It was an unexpected body-blow… the strangest of feelings… being happy and blessed that he could go on, and at the same time, wanting … [Read more...]

Open Letter to the Broad Street Run Forecast

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First, seriously? Would you quit with the dark, scary, intimidating nonsense? You are kind of being a bully. And, I, on behalf of about 299 other people am going to stand up to you. Right here. Right now. See...you think you are powerful. You think that being mean, nasty, and dark, you will beat us down but you really don't get it. Sunday morning is the end for us. It is our "moment;" one we have have prepared for for 15 weeks. Many of us signed up not being able to run a mile even in the BEST conditions. Some of us were veterans--training for our third, fourth, or even 12th Broad … [Read more...]

Dear E: An Open Letter to a Patient I Loved and Lost

First Broad Street Team 
EK In the Back Row

Dear E, I think I have been crying for five days. I know what you are saying "Come on kiddo! Smile....It ain't THAT bad..." I see your smile. But it is THAT bad. You are gone. And no one knows why. All we know is that one second you were on this earth and the next you were taken from so many who loved you. Can I say that to you now? I LOVED you. I LOVED your heart, your spirit, your kindness. I LOVED how deeply you cherished Lori and your amazing kids. I LOVED how you NEVER had a bad thing to say about anybody. But mostly I LOVED you for believing in me. Remember that first day we … [Read more...]

Fall vs Fail: The Difference Is in the “I”

"Knee, meet this brick."

I have never really been accident prone. Childhood circa 1970's-1980's: no broken bones and only one serious laceration (forget the stitches, this one was life-threatening.) Then this year happened. In the last few months I have had three falls, two of them MAJOR. The first happened while I was running with my beloved running team at 5 am. I was going faster than my normal pace and it was dark. Running fast in the dark was outside my comfort zone. My toe caught an uneven brick and down I went...hard..on said brick. My left knee burst open like a watermelon thrown from a rooftop. … [Read more...]