“Well, Doc Now You’re Embarassed Aren’t You?”

Yes. Yes I am. On every Friday afternoon between Thanksgiving and Christmas the two mile ride home from my office can take in excess of 20 minutes. And, to add to that travesty, every Friday afternoon between Thanksgiving and say, Easter, I leave the office at least an hour later than I wanted to. Tonight was no different. As I hauled my crap and coat and aching feet to my car, I ran through the checklist in my mind. Left on 30. Left on Quarry. Pick up excessive amount of food at wings place. Home. Jammies on (shut up yes I can put my jammies on at 630 pm) Eat excessive grotesque food. … [Read more...]

I Think It’s the Garland That Makes Me Want to Cry

garland picture

I am not a grinch. But Christmas makes me want to cry. It starts just before Thanksgiving. As the days shorten, the temperatures drop, and the inevitable countdowns and jingles infiltrate every media source, my mood plummets. I stared at a beautiful tree today and felt the familiar tightening in my stomach and sense of dread welling in me. All of a sudden I heard the words to Bon Jovi's hit tune from the 80's "Living on a Prayer" : Gina works the diner all day....she brings home her pay for love. Tommy says it's OK, someday.... Like a storm surge just after the levy breaks, memories … [Read more...]

Hiccoughs, Lavender and a Verbose 12 Year-Old

PB Lavender Retreat Dried Lavender

I am already a fairly impatient person. Especially on Monday nights. That is my "night at home." It is, in other words, my night as a single parent. So, despite weekly mental peptalks along the 2.5 mile drive home  ( I will be supportive, I will be calm, I will not check my email, I will make them laugh --a mantra repeated,) Monday afternoons are always a train wreck. Stress thins my already anemic patience and  hiccoughs make me downright irrational. So, tonight as my entire body is racked with involuntary jerk after involuntary jerk, my fuse is shortening by the nanosecond. Further, the … [Read more...]

Poor Castrated Fred and Chris’ Pink Lab Coat


; I hate doing laundry. Chris is fond of asking me how I could possible 'hate' something I never do. That is when I am forced to remind him of a laundry situation that occurred 19 years ago. As a direct result of my attempt at laundering, his manhood was questioned for approximately one full year. The summer of 1993 was brutally hot in Philadelphia. We often stumbled out of our freshman gross anatomy lab gasping for a hint of fresh air. The sticky city smog was miserably inadequate at clearing out our nostrils. The formaldehyde/death smell over time seemed to actually emanate from our … [Read more...]

My Husband is a Fairy

We Clean Up Nice

  MY HUSBAND IS A FAIRY! After months of noticing questionable charges to our Amazon account, it all came to a head tonight. Random charges for books kept appearing that were difficult to explain: books not of my taste, or as far as I knew, of my husband's. The undeniable evidence was in the form of a handwritten note that, in unmistakeable writing read: "Deer Doktor My-R, Thank you for the buk you sended to me. I will read it every nite with my mommy. Your Frend, xxxxxx"Well dear friends, it turns out, my husband is a "book fairy" He has been analyzing his patients … [Read more...]