In many ways a morning off is worse than plain working because the prospect of going to work later looms all day.
My Tuesday began with the typical 1 minute orgasmic coffee experience. As per routine, the moment was shattered by kids, husband and dog barrelling into my kitchen.
Chris sits down to his Lucky Charms (you guessed it, I am annoyed: What grown man eats Lucky Charms for breakfast?” )
He announces: ” I read this study done by a vet. It turns out that staring into a dogs eyes releases as much oxytocin as reading a book or listening to music. Oxytocin is the relaxation hormone….”
He reads my body language like a pro and comes over to give me a “I-know-you-have-a-lot-going-on-right-now” hug. It is actually comforting and for a second, my tension eases.
He follows with “Did you take a shower today? You stink.” And out he he goes smelling shower fresh, relaxed from making googly eyes with his stupid dog, stomach sated with sugared grossness.
Seconds after the car pulls out, Sam slides three pieces of paper under my nose for signature as he casually says “Hey Mom, a B is a good grade right? ”
Math Test: B
Science Experiment: B
Note from teacher: Three missed homeworks, lunch detention, just FYI.
Did he really think I would sign without looking? Novice.
“Bud.” I say with my best supportive yet firm, not yet psycho tone.
“A ‘B’ is ok if it’s your best. I know that is not your best and since when do you not turn in your homework? Dad and I will discuss this when we are both home later.”
He looks down. He’s got nothing. I am smug. I have done a good job with that situation.
Just then, M decides she will present her straight A report card.
I am mindful of Sam’s feelings and say softly “Great job Honey!”
She begins weeping.
Seriously, she’s sobbing right now??
“I worked really hard on that Mom and all you can say is ‘great job’?”
“Seriously, don’t you think I deserve something more?”
That’s it. My drop of oxytocin is spent. I explode.
” I WAS GOING TO THROW YOU A PARADE BUT I RAN OUT OF TIME BETWEEN WORKING FULL TIME, TAKING CARE OF SICK PEOPLE, RUNNING A BUSINESS, TRYING TO EXERCISE, SLEEPING A FEW HOURS A NIGHT, ORGANIZING A CHARITY EVENT AND MAKING SURE YOUR FATHER HAS PLENTY OF MILK AND LUCKY CHARMS IN THE HOUSE…”
Her eyes are are down cast demurely but her words are razors.
“Oh. It’s ok Mom, I understand. I love you. Maybe you should look into Lucy’s eyes for a minute.”