Open Letter to the Mom That “Ruined” Our Day

Dear Lady Whose Kid Crapped in the Pool:

I have not laid eyes on you however I imagine you are young—maybe in your thirties? You are probably a bit tired and overwhelmed. I imagine you have planned for your vacation for several months–maybe even saved up to come here.
You have little ones–perhaps two or three under three? You may even have one on the way.

Pay attention. What I am about to say, I say with love and experience.

No doubt, you saw the scowls on the faces of HUNDREDS of people as our community pool was shut down because your son or daughter left a “floatie.” I am sure you heard the angry “Put your kid in a swim diaper for God’s sake!”
I am certain you cringed and maybe collected your kids and mountains of kid gear and scurried off trying to not be noticed.

Here is my message to you.

It. Is. OK.

Your child had an accident. It may have inconvenienced a few people who really don’t want to walk the TEN FEET to the other pool but they will live. Don’t let today’s incident ruin your day, your vacation, and most importantly your impression of motherhood.

I tell you this because my kids no longer wear swim diapers. I don’t worry about them having accidents. In fact I am forbidden from acknowledging that any of them even have bowel movements. You think people today were mean? Try asking your 13 year old son if he has toilet paper in his bathroom. THAT is a look of disgust for you.

Today I was a little melancholy because those are no longer my worries. Now I worry that my daughter will soon drive and that my son may get his heart broken. I worry about them living up to their potential in a REALLY hard world. I worry about them needing therapy because of my blog. But most of all I worry that I was not good enough for them–as a mom—when they were little enough to leave floaties. I was where you are. I stomped my feet. I screamed. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. I imagined my life would never be more than spilled milk, dirty diapers, and crushed cheerios on my floor.

I forgot nuzzling cheeks, naked butts, and heart filling giggles in those “floating crap” moments. Don’t do that.
After all, now my biggest fear is that I won’t know what to be when they are are gone—and that reality is really really close.

Forget the a-hole that offered to pay for your $5 swim diaper “for sale RIGHT there at the pool.” Because, my friend in the end, a “floatie” is just that ….not worth a second of your agony.

Sincerely,

A Mom Who Has Been There (and misses it.)

Comments

  1. Jo says:

    Truth. Your childrens’ childhoods fly by and when they leave the nest it is hard,as a mom, to figure out where you belong. I was lucky. I found Team CMMD. Thank you.

  2. Wendy says:

    I love thus. You always seem to put out a “blog” that really hits my soft spot,just when I need it the most. Travelling on the turnpike after dropping off my oldest at college, she will be starting her Junior year and next week my son will be dropped off for the beginning if his freshman year in college. You blog is true and mom who you spoke about. As I sit in the car with a huge lump in my throat wondwring where the years have gone, tomorrow will be here sooner than you think and no one will remember the floatie incident except perhaps you as you drive away and travel home after dropping them off at college and you will laugh through the tears and wish you could turn back time.

  3. Kate says:

    Love it, Little Man threw up in the pool the other day. Swallowed pool water, coughed, threw up. I wanted to disappear but most of all I wanted some help and got the stares and glares. Poor kid loves to swim, and said “lets not come back till im bigger” wish we would all step back like you do and have perspective.
    -Kate

  4. ehinto says:

    Loved reading this and you’re perspective from having been there, done that. I am in the thick of it with having had 3 boys under 3 and it’s good to remember to take a step back and realize this too will pass and that some day I’ll miss this age.

  5. Those were hard days but you will surely miss them. I promise you..squeeze them while you can!

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