Open Letter to the Mom That “Ruined” Our Day

Dear Lady Whose Kid Crapped in the Pool: I have not laid eyes on you however I imagine you are young---maybe in your thirties? You are probably a bit tired and overwhelmed. I imagine you have planned for your vacation for several months--maybe even saved up to come here. You have little ones--perhaps two or three under three? You may even have one on the way. Pay attention. What I am about to say, I say with love and experience. No doubt, you saw the scowls on the faces of HUNDREDS of people as our community pool was shut down because your son or daughter left a "floatie." I am … [Read more...]

Birdsong or Noise? You Decide.

birds crap

This morning was literally perfect: sunny, breezy and quiet. Chris and I sat on the front porch of our little beach place. We sipped coffee and talked for the first time all week. There was just one problem. Freaking chirping birds.....lots of them...and they were LOUD. Hear them here. We have been watching this family all summer. They started building a nest around Memorial Day and two weeks ago the chicks hatched. Now our quiet porch is not so much. Chris looked up at the tiny chicks with their mouths gaping wide and at the mom and dad birds flitting in and out with … [Read more...]

13 Things (Wo)men Want: A Life List for My Son on His 13th Birthday

Today, I heard Sam on the phone with a girl. He sounded a little nervous and it was cute. This post came to me after that. He will turn thirteen tomorrow. Know that the "she" in this post can easily be a "he." It is applicable to girls, boys, hetero and homosexual relationships. It is not about sexual roles. It's about healthy, fulfilling relationships. 13 Things (Wo)men Want 1. Laughter: Make her laugh often and then laugh at yourself. Life can be serious enough. I guarantee you if you are laughing, you are not fighting. 2. Honesty: No, not when she asks you if she looks like a … [Read more...]

My Inner Lesbian and My Truest Friends

Get a little closer---closer....

Made you click. If you drop by my house tonight, you will see that there are two beautifully decorated, perfectly lit petite trees on the porch. Inside we have a tree decorated in musical themes by our baby grand piano. Our family room houses our fresh cut family tree covered in ornaments made of macaroni and glitter and toilet paper rolls. There are vacuum lines in the carpet and the granite is sparkling. There is even a pot of soup simmering on the stove. Those are the "truths" any unassuming observer would accept. Here is the reality of my home tonight. The lovely trees on my … [Read more...]

Dear Fellow Elf on the Shelf Parent

Will This Un-do the Damage? One Can Hope...

Look, let's start out with a full on psychobabble confessional. It is not you. It is me. The following is really a reflection of my poor holiday self-esteem and NOT your mind-bogglingly annoying behaviors. You see I am already sick of this season and it has only been in swing for about three days. My intentions were good on Thanksgiving morning. I signed up for a 5K knowing that those running endorphins would carry me through the merciless hours of gluttony to follow. It really was a lovely run and morning. I vowed THIS would be the year I became a LOVER of all things … [Read more...]