I think it was a perfect storm–a trifecta really–caused by the following 3 undeniable facts.
1. Sam now takes at least 3 showers a day.
2. Sam cannot be seen nor can he see anyone else in any state of undress.
3. Maisy needs to live on an island- it really would be for the best.
It all came to a head as a result of furniture/bedroom rearranging fiasco that took place this Saturday. Well, it STARTED this Saturday and should be completed…oh sometime around Easter (as long as Easter is very late this year.)
In our house, Maisy has her own room with it’s own bathroom. The last time I ventured into that bathroom I saw two things that scarred me for life.
1. Her toilet seat was disconnected and sitting on the floor.
2. On the wall next to her mirror, there was a near perfect handprint made of purple eye shadow.
I don’t want to know how the seat ended up on the floor or why her hand was completely COVERED in eyeshadow. All I know is: she cannot and should not share her bathroom. Ever.
Not counting the powder room, that leaves two full bathrooms upstairs and a full bathroom in the basement. Yet, on any given morning, we are playing musical showers.
Sam comes into my bathroom so as not to wake Hadley. I haul all my makeup to the powder room only to be flushed out minutes later by “someone” with his annoying as hell, regular as rain habits.
Meanwhile Maisy happily does whatever it is she does for one hour in the morning while loud music pulsates directly through the wall and into Hadley’s sleeping brain. While the rest of us run around dripping wet, towels wrapped every which way, arms laden with clothes and makeup and hair dryers, Maisy is apparently dancing on her toilet and making hand prints with makeup.
Since the shared bath opens to Hadley’s room and the hall, we thought it would make sense to switch her room with Sam’s. He would get access to his own shower every morning and Haddie would sleep peacefully across the hall – far from Panic at the Disco and My Chemical Romance(yes those are real bands.)
Fast Forward to Saturday afternoon.
1. Maisy’s toilet seat is still on the floor.
2. Maisy’s wall is still covered in eyeshadow.
3. Hadley has a navy blue Pottery Barn Loft Bed complete with a canvas fort. It is complemented by a solid cherry dresser, a pink area rug, and dinosaur bedding.
4. Sam has a solid cherry four poster bed, navy blue Ethan Allen dressers, pink walls with a fairy wallpaper border and a princess duvet.
The good news is that Sam’s first shower of the day occurred in the privacy of his own bathroom. He was not seen, nor did he see, any other undressed person. Hadley slept across from Maisy’s pulsating undisturbed.
Bad news? He did not see that I had transferred all of his man-groom products from our bathroom to his. As he scooted by me still dripping wet, he smelled vaguely like…Strawberry Shortcakes Berry Explosion Body Wash.
Later, Hadley sat at the table coloring quietly. Without looking up she asked “Hey Mom- know how Sam needs a shower for himself and I need quiet because Maisy is too loud? Instead of moving our rooms and stuff, couldn’t he just take a shower in the basement?”
In all the frenzy, it never occurred to us that the fifth shower in our house – the one tucked far away from naked parents and sleeping first graders- has never once, in 9 years, been used.
Apparently, unlike her parents, all the rock music that has subconsciously been playing in our littlest one’s head has not zapped every bit of common sense she has.