Over lunch today, Chris and I had a very typical “discussion.” I want a Vitamix. He thinks it’s ridiculously expensive.Disclaimer: If you believe any of the following, please read no further.
1. A Cap’n Crunch coating is just the thing to “liven up” a boring chicken breast.
2. A can of Cream of Mushroom soup is capable of transforming a humble pile of ingredients into a one dish dinner.
3.The microwave is a fine appliance for cooking an entire meal.
4. Thomas Keller* is just some guy.
*The chef/owner of The French Laundry: arguably the WORLD’s best restaurant (Yountville, CA)
Chris took me to Yountville for my 40th birthday but since he didn’t realize that reservations for the FL are made three years in advance, I was only able to touch the outside wall and peer longingly into a completely blacked out window. It’s ok–he meant well. I am over it. Really, I am.
If you are still reading, chances are you are like me: a bona fide food geek (FYI we prefer the politically correct term “food enthusiast” or “foodie” for short.)
As a foodie, not only do I love to eat and cook, I think about cooking and eating all day. At night, I read cookbooks for fun (I know that is a little geeky) and fall asleep to the melodic tones of Guy Fieri’s voice.
So, it shocks many that know me to hear that, as of this date, I do not own a Vitamix. Don’t leave to hit Google. I am going to explain.
In a word, Vitamix is the Rolls Royce of kitchen blenders and food processors. It actually has the horsepower of a lawn mower. In the lunch time debate I had with Chris today, I thought I would win him over with the whole horsepower thing—but sadly, he was unfazed citing the following:
1.) I already own 11 (eleven) different types of blenders/processors/smoothie makers.
2.) At a whopping $600, a Vitamix literally costs more than ALL of the clothes he owns.
I countered with my “Top 5 Reasons I NEED a Vitamix.”
5. It is powerful enough to spin a bunch of raw, unprepped veggies into a creamy HOT soup—no stove necessary–think of the natural gas we will save.
4. That same power can churn fruit directly into a sorbet in under 10 minutes–no freezer required–think of the electricity we will save.
3. The thing is designed to be able to blend 120,000 frozen drinks in the course of its life—we won’t live nearly that long.
2. Vitamix employs 4 (FOUR) repair technicians to service its 3.7 million units (really.)–you totally love high quality gadgety type things….this is QUALITY!
1. In his Ad Hoc cook book, Chef Keller ALWAYS instructs us to place ingredients “into the Vitamix.” He NEVER says “processor, blender, Cuisinart”–he is very specific–it has to be a Vitamix. And, given his status as the WORLD’S best chef, who could argue?
Breathless, I concluded with the following “bring it home” point:
“….and you know what else?? You can make a smoothie and just throw an entire apple in there! No peeling, no coring, no nothing! Imagine how the health of our children will improve with the use of this one appliance.”
For a second, I thought I had him. Then he retorts:
“So, what you’re saying is that you need this thing to make apple smoothies? With the core and peel and everything?” ooooh I’ve got him now! He’s thinking about all the fiber and nutrients in those unprepped apples!
He swigs his stupid, processed, completely from concentrate orange juice with a loud gulp and says, “You realize that I have never in my life seen you or anyone else enjoy an apple smoothie right? And, just for your information, apple seeds are full of arsenic. You do core and seed those apples carefully before you feed them to my kids right?”