Yes. Yes I am.
On every Friday afternoon between Thanksgiving and Christmas the two mile ride home from my office can take in excess of 20 minutes. And, to add to that travesty, every Friday afternoon between Thanksgiving and say, Easter, I leave the office at least an hour later than I wanted to.
Tonight was no different. As I hauled my crap and coat and aching feet to my car, I ran through the checklist in my mind. Left on 30. Left on Quarry. Pick up excessive amount of food at wings place. Home. Jammies on (shut up yes I can put my jammies on at 630 pm) Eat excessive grotesque food. Drink cold refreshing beer. Collapse into the most comfortable bed. Watch 15 different shows in exactly 90 second snippets (Chris has remote).
That was the well laid plan that I was still finalizing when I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. I eyed the packed parking lot (everyone eats gross food in excess the week after Thanksgiving), spoke gently to my throbbing right big toe, put it in park and jumped out of the car.
On cue, a voice calls “Hey there doc….” I caught the eye of a patient of mine with a bad back. Cane in hand he hobbled across the rows and rows of parked cars. My smile turned feeble as he eyed my Volvo parked haphazardly in the hatch marks between two handicapped spaces.
“Wow. You are taking up not ONE, but TWO handicapped spots Doc! Long day?” he asked jovially. As my tired mind tried frantically to jump from “Friday Night Plan” to “Save My Face” plan, it occured to me that I could only do one thing. Briefly, I considered faking an injury to justify my poor choice but thought better of it.
Interestingly, I did what my loathesome dog would do when caught with contraband. I tucked my tail between my legs, put my head down and moseyed my way back to the car which I then promptly moved to the “Take Out Only” parking exactly 10 feet away.